It is truly fantastic to be able to access so much information and to learn from the experience of other women who have walked this path before us. However, I have noticed in my work that it can generate a sense of insecurity in mums, especially in first time mums with no close family support.
This happens because the “how to” suggestions are often interpreted as guidelines, with the unintended consequence of making mums who do not “follow” them feel bad about themselves.
This effect is even more counterproductive when mums try to apply such advice to solve their own family problems only to find out that for some reason in their case it doesn’t work.
And these are the words we should focus on – in their case. In your case. While most of the tips prove helpful to many other mums, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they are the right thing to do for you, in your situation. As human beings we are all different, and as mums we all have a different approach to motherhood: our needs are different, our children are different, and so are our family circumstances.
Before taking any advice on board, (including this one!) remember to ask yourself:
- Does this apply to MY situation?
- Is it feasible FOR ME?
- Is it something I AM COMFORTABLE with?
- Filter everything through your own looking glass and only apply what makes sense in your picture.
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