Sydney Mum had a chat to this awesome mum…
How many children do you have? What age / sex are they?
‘I have a son, Alfie, who is 2 years old and a 12-year-old stepson. For female support in my house of men I have two fur babies: Moppie and Boots (kittens).
What has surprised you the most about becoming a mother?
‘How much I have changed. How much more I feel things, my compassion and empathy has increased since having Alfie, like crying during ads…when did commercials get so emotional?!?’ (laughs).
Do you miss anything about your life prior to having children?
‘Going to the bathroom without an audience and being able to just duck off to the shops, everything takes about 30 mins prep time at least before we can leave the house’ (laughs).
What is the hardest part about being a mum?
‘The loneliness, yet constantly being busy. Craving time alone but then feeling guilty for wanting to have time alone from the kids and my partner’.
How has your relationship with your partner changed since becoming parents?
‘It’s had its difficult moments. I was diagnosed with depression when I was 6 months pregnant so keeping things to myself and withdrawing into my mind was hard on Jeremy. I have been seeing a psychologist, taking new medication and making sure I don’t keep him out has really helped. Communication is key!’
What advice do you have for new mothers or mothers to be?
‘Ask for help when you need it, and don’t be afraid to tell others when you are not coping. Along with that, ‘date’ your partner – Jeremy and I didn’t for so long – now we are ‘dating’ again. Spending time just the two of you is so important, your baby wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for that time together – it shouldn’t stop when the baby arrives!’
How has your attitude to work / career changed since becoming a mother? and how do you manage the juggle of family and work?
‘Since having Alfie, I have started my own small business – wedding and events – having a creative outlet through styling has also helped with my depression. It has also been something that I have always wanted to do, so I had the mindset that while I was home I may as well give it a go – and it has taken off!’
What do you think about “me” time? Do you practice it, preach it or have you resigned yourself to the fact that you will have to play catch up later on?
‘I am guilty of being more a preacher than a doer. Alfie has just started day-care once a week and I am making the effort to use that day. If I am not meeting up with clients, I try to treat myself to a lunch or just chill at home watching anything but Thomas the Tank Engine’ (laughs).
Who do you admire? Why?
‘Constance Hall. Her sentiments to life and parenthood are a lot like mine. She can be polarising in that you either love her or you don’t. But for me she is spreading the message to mums that we need to stop being so hard on ourselves. I also love the whole imagery she uses of messy hair, unwashed or unkempt clothes and saggy belly skin – currently what I look like now! (laughs) and being proud enough to say I am a Queen and I am an awesome mother!’
What kind of ‘Australia’ do you hope for your children’s future?
‘An Australia that embraces tolerance, love and empathy towards all people and walks of life regardless of age, race, gender, religion or sexual orientation’.
Charity of choice?
‘Rafiki Mwema – they rescue girls and boys in Kenya who have suffered horrible traumas, sexual abuse and abandonment and take them and give them a home, food and the love and support they need’.
Finally, a question all mums must face (no matter who they are!) – What are you feeding your child for dinner tonight?
‘Eeeek! I haven’t even thought about that yet. We have quite a few mushrooms in the fridge at the moment, so probably blend some up, put it into a white sauce with chicken and serve it with rice. So like a white stroganoff really – it’s all about the ‘hiding veggies’ stage with Alfie’ (laughs).
Amanda Jane – Wedding and Events Specialist and mum
M: 0433 848 330
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