Parenting, can raising a child be easier?
Hi, my name is Rossana, I am a mother of a 2 yr old and the founder of Helping Mum. I believe that community support is fundamental for the development of both mother and child and I would like to share my story.
Our journey started six years ago, the decision was easy, even though leaving our families behind the promise of a better life was too attractive to be ignored. Why not? We were still young and full of energy. Even easier was to decide where to go, as we had so many friends living here in Sydney already.
My husband and I were so lucky, we couldn’t believe that only after five years we were already citizens, and on top of that, we had our little girl. So gorgeous and cheeky, and as all parents do, we fell in love straight away. One problem though, life doesn’t prepare you for what parenthood brings along.
The first year is survival, literally! We worry about absolutely everything; we have no idea what’s right and what’s wrong. My baby is not breastfeeding properly, are you sure she’s drinking enough? How many nights without sleep? How much washing to be done?! Well, that’s all no news if you’re a mum, I am 100% sure you’ve been there. Raising a child is extremely hard work, full stop. But now imagine doing that without family support, it is crazy, and I know that this is the case for so many of us.
It has been almost three years now, my husband and I are used to it, but sometimes I wish so badly that my family was around. A silly example – last week I had a job interview scheduled, and my daughter got sick…what to do? Of course with that short notice no friends or nanny available, my husband had to lose a day at work to look after her. So many times that we have had nobody that could help us…
Surprisingly, when I mention that I would love to have my family here to help, I hear mothers complaining about the fact that their families are around and it doesn’t make it easier. My question is, is that true? If you need to go to the doctor, don’t you leave your child with them? If there’s an emergency, your partner is away, who do you ask for help? You have a friend’s wedding on the weekend, what do you do?
Well, I know that if I had my family here, I could count on them for it.
I have learned now that we, as mums, can be the source of the problem. Even when we have family or people around willing to help, we don’t want to ask for it. We often think that we are disturbing them, or they are too tired, but the truth is, we only trust ourselves to look after our children.
I know it’s hard, but we need to be conscious of our needs, we need to look after ourselves, as much as we look after our kids. To me, the only way we can do that is asking for help. Unfortunately, I can’t count on my family, and like me, so many others are in the same boat.
So here I am, asking for help. I believe that we all can help and care for each other making our lives less complicated. That is my purpose and why I set up Helping Mum.
Love X x x